Realize
by scooter13
Summary: Just a series of vignettes about Shepard and Garrus and the important times in-between.


Just a quick little thing I did 'cause it was rattling around in my head. Enjoy! 

* * *

Kit ran down the hall and vaulted over a large crate, crouching low to the ground and pressing her back to it. Bullets ricocheted around her, nearly drowning out the shouts of her pursuers.

Garrus clambered over and landed beside her, grunting.

"Is this where we charm them?" he asked wryly, propping his rifle on top of the crate and shooting.

Kit winced at a bullet that flew a little too close and sighted over the crate, shooting two with her pistol. They had gotten separated from Thane and were still waiting for evac and so far they had nearly decimated what seemed to be the entire eclipse gang. They didn't stop and Kit was starting to sweat, the light armour and under armour too much in the heat.

"Just Batman them," she replied with a grin, brushing her dark, short hair out of her eyes.

"Not until you explain what that means," he growled, sitting back down. She looked over at him and raised her eyebrows before turning and nodding toward a doorway, the lock symbol an annoying red.

"Gonna try to get over there," she said and crouched, prepared to run. Garrus nodded and sighted down his rifle, covering her.

She broke cover and ran to the doorway, still keeping their shooters in sight and firing when she had a target.

Pressing into the doorway, she slid against it and made sure she was carefully out of the way and Garrus had her cover until she began to hack it. It didn't take long and she whistled when the door opened, pressing against the doorjamb and offering Garrus cover as he ran over to her.

They ran in and she quickly shut the door, locking it. She breathed hard, her hands on her knees. Garrus wasn't in much better shape. Thane was still crawling around in the vents somewhere, but they'd lost communications with him and the rest of the ship. She hoped he was able to get out, or at least was holed up somewhere as safe as they were.

"So tell me again about the walking and the park," Garrus said, leaning on a crate and applying medi-gel to a bullet hole in his arm. Kit huffed and rolled her eyes toward the door, which the Eclipse were now starting to pound on. She hoped none of them had any sort of explosives and wished to hell the two of them did.

"You're a jackass," she shot back, rolling her shoulders and looking around the room.

They'd run into what looked like a medical room, smaller than usual, but it had a cloth covered table and several cupboards with frosted glass doors. Some bottles sat on a shelf and instruments were hanging in a cupboard that was left open.

She winced when she took a deep breath, grunting in discomfort. Garrus' sharp blue eyes looked up at her, his mandibles pulled tight to his face. "You should do something about that," he said casually, but she knew him too well. She could hear the intensity behind his voice and the way his mandibles twitched when he looked away told her he was not happy.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, taking care of it," she sighed, walking over to the cupboards and sifting through them until she found a small medi-gel insert. Opening her omni-tool, she slid the small tube inside and started cycling it through her suit. She sighed when the cool gel soothed over her wounds.

She heard him move around, his heavy armour creaking slightly when he moved.

"You need to get some new duds," Kit said, leaning over the table and staring at the bloodied cloth. She wrinkled her nose, not wanting to think about what had happened. They'd been drawn in by a distress signal and it had been a trap, of course, she thought and rolled her eyes.

"How long are we staying?" he asked. "Not that it's uncomfortable, but room service is just a little too insistent." Kit looked over at him and smirked. "And when we put up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign and everything. Service these days," she sighed, shaking her head.

Garrus grinned back and looked at the door. "Seriously, Shepard, what are we doing?"

Kit sighed and ran a hand through her hair, tugging at the short strands irritably. "Fuck, do you have any grenades?" Sighing when he answered in the negative, she looked around the room. Neither of them were biotics or engineers, and she really needed something non-physical right now.

Narrowing her eyes, she stalked around the room and started pulling open cupboards. Her father and mother had both been chemists and though they hadn't taught her much about explosives, she had learned what to mix quickly; she had to figure something out. She pulled through the cupboards, sweeping bottles and instruments aside but quickly stopped when she saw a large, white crystal. Grimacing and pulling her hand back, she let go of the edge of the cupboard shelf she was gripping.

"Hey, Garrus. Got an idea!"

She heard the turian walk over to her, his steps heavy with his armour.

"Just, stay away," she said, putting her hand behind her and gesturing for him to stop. Garrus grumbled behind her. "Seriously," she continued, "and stay away from the door."

"What did you find?" he demanded, moving away.

Kit licked her lips and holstered her gun, ignoring the pounding at the door behind her. Looking around, she spotted a tap and quickly ran the cold water, wetting her hands. Garrus watched her, shifting his rifle. She was grateful for his silence, their routine quickly established on the first Normandy. She got them into shit, she got them out and he got her back every step of the way.

She walked back to the cupboard and gently lifted the small crystal out, her damp hands dripping, turning her head slightly so she didn't breathe directly onto the slightly milky looking crystal.

"Okay," she said steadily, moving carefully toward a crate. "I'm gonna throw this, we are gonna duck and then they are gonna die,kay?" She slanted her gaze toward Garrus and watched him nod, eyes trained on the crystal, but he was already moving behind the table.

"Okay," Kit said, breathing deep and careful not to jostle it too much, stepping behind the crate and focussing on the door. With a deep breath, she quickly threw the crystal and ducked behind the crate, unholstering her gun and not even blinking when the explosion rocked out.

Stepping out of cover, she ignored Garrus shout and started shooting at the shapes emerging from dust and rubble.

Garrus was soon right beside her, shooting with intense concentration, both their shots neat and tight.

Kit grinned when the last body fell to the ground, grey blood leaking out of the bullet hole in its head. She turned to Garrus and raised her eyebrows. He snorted and shook his head, walking away. "Come on, gotta make sure Krios isn't dying somewhere."

Kit followed after him, looking down at the bodies as she walked past.

They found Thane perfectly comfortable atop a sniper perch, taking out a mass of husks that were clawing at the base of his nest like cats at a tree. His shots never faltered even though she knew he saw them, and Kit took out her machine gun when several husks turned to her.

"Love a fight," she hissed, looking over at Garrus. The turian just hummed, a deep and noncommittal sound, and began shooting. It didn't take long; between the three of them, the bloated monstrosities were quickly taken care of.

She sauntered forward as Thane climbed down, dropping easily beside her. "I'm glad you're well," he said as greeting, his deep voice like chocolate and his leathers settling around him perfectly. Kit grinned and chuffed him on the arm, walking around him to a promising looking shelf. Grabbing some heat sinks, she tucked them into her suit and turned back to the two of them.

"Alright, did you figure out the communication problem?" she asked, cocking her head and narrowing her eyes. Thane stood straight but she knew if he was wounded he'd never tell unless asked. "And are you okay?" He nodded shortly at the second question and turned to a large hole in the wall.

"A simple jamming algorithm, but they did not take kindly when I tried to disable it."

Kit nodded and glanced to the hole. "Think they're dead?" she asked, holding her machine gun up and advancing to the large, crumbling hole in the wall. Garrus shrugged. "One way to find out," he offered, side stepping and covering her as she poked her head around.

She gestured to them when the coast was clear and stepped over the rubble. Thane quickly walked over to the large communications tower and tapped the computer at the base. A sharp whine pierced her ears and Kit winced.

"Spirits," Garrus cursed, raising his taloned hand to the side of his head.

"Apologies, the signal is now open," Thane said, stepping back.

"Perfect," Kit sighed, rolling her eyes when she heard Joker's slightly curt voice.

"Not quite on this end, Commander. What the hell just happened?"

Kit grinned. "Just a little jamming, but we're good. Thanks for caring," she replied slightly sarcastically.

"I do care; without you I don't have a paycheck. Or leather seats," he said. "Evac?"

Kit replied in the affirmative and the trio started to move toward the exit.

* * *

"What was that, back there?" Garrus asked as they sat in her cabin later, clumsily shuffling the novelty jumbo playing cards. The regular decks were too small for his hands and after he'd accused her of cheating, she'd went out and searched for them so he could shuffle and stop whining.

"What?" Kit asked, her feet up on his lap, iced glass of gin and tonic resting on her stomach.

"That crystal," he emphasized, dealing out two cards each and laying out three more face-down on the small coffee table.

Kit picked up her cards and pursed her lips, sipping the cold drink and squinting. "Acetone peroxide," she replied. "Raise fifteen," she called, throwing the small, colored chips onto the table. Garrus rumbled but did the same and they flipped the three cards. "It's sensitive to temperature change but water stabilizes it, I didn't want you to accidentally set it off." She glanced at the three revealed cards and pursed her lips.

"Could have warned me about the explosion," he muttered, calling and laying down a couple of more chips. Kit narrowed her eyes and looked at the pile, the cards, then over to him.

"You're a big boy, and call."

* * *

Kit sat in front of her terminal, finally reading her messages. "About Horizon," she muttered, glaring at the screen. "About your pussy-assed self." She glared at the screen, as if it was the reason for her current state of inebriation. A bottle of Locke's was half-empty beside a glass with the last remnants of ice slowly melting at the bottom.

"Officer Vakarian is requesting access to your quarters," EDI informed her, the AIs voice coolly informal and respectful. Kit waved her hand then frowned when she remembered the AI needed verbal confirmation.

"Yeah," she slurred, standing up unsteadily. Walking over to the glass wall beside her steps, she casually leaned against it and tried to stop the world from spinning. Garrus walked in, slightly blurry and very blue and Kit frowned.

"Do you wear blue so people think you're naked? 'Cause you're, you know, blue?" She squinted at him and grinned sloppily, leaning forward too much and nearly pitching forward.

"Spirits, Shepard. What have you been doing?" he demanded, catching her and ignoring her question.

"Not Kaiden, 'cause he's shit," she slurred, leaning into his warmth and looking up into his face. His mandibles were pulled tight in discomfort, his strong arms holding her up and helping her down the steps. She wound her arms around his thin waist, squeezing tight.

"That was weeks ago," he rumbled, his voice moving through her. But instead of soothing her as it normally would, Kit felt the tears well up, embarrassingly maudlin when drunk.

"Yeah, but you're my best friend!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "My bestest buddy and greatest friend and you're not fucking me and that prick has the aud-adi-fucking balls to not come along. It could have been him!" She huffed when he helped her into the bed, swallowing, her mouth dry and jaw tight.

"It could have been him, if I hadn't pushed him away it would have been and the fucker seems to not see that." She turned over and started to curl up on herself until two hours and several glasses of whisky that should not have been shot came back to her and she struggled to the edge of the bed. Garrus sighed and grabbed the trash bin, quickly holding it underneath her when she threw up.

"How much did you drink?" he asked, his warm hand holding her hair back as her own clutched the edge of the mattress. "Don't remember," she gasped when she'd finished, wiping her mouth. She was about to sit up when she felt her stomach clench and her shoulders hunched as her stomach rebelled some more.

Finally, she sat back, tears streaming down her cheeks, the salty liquid dipping between her lips and dropping onto the sheets. Garrus sighed, his hand in her hair a moment longer before he turned and walked away, carrying the disgusting trash bin to the bathroom.

Kit sighed and rolled onto her back, wiping the tears away, her stomach empty and rumbling unhappily. She heard the toilet flush and turned onto her side, tucking one pillow underneath her cheek and the other in between her knees, curling into the soft comfort.

Garrus walked back over to her, settling on the bed, long legs lifting onto the mattress. Kit pushed her curled back into him, unwilling to turn around while she was still so nauseous.

"He sent a message and it sucked and he's an asshole and I don't want to talk about it." Garrus' hand moved through her hair, soothing and Kit leaned into the contact.

"What's on the agenda in, oh, six hours?" he asked, picking up the Fornax on the side of her desk and flipping through it. Kit whined and buried her face in the soft pillow. "Gotta head down to Tuchanka," she mumbled, already falling asleep. "Grunt is having a very bad moment and I want it to stop. Figure another krogan might be able to help."

Garrus rumbled, the paper crinkling when he pressed against it, the room suddenly dimly illuminated by the image projected from the magazine.

"Just keep it down," Kit mumbled before falling asleep.

* * *

Mordin walked a little in front of them, his posture uncharacteristically slumped. Kit frowned, but she had done all she could and recognized the salarian needed his own time. Their steps constantly kicked up rubble and they made a noisy group heading back through the deserted hospital. Garrus walked beside her, alert even though they had just walked through these ruins and picked off everyone from every single corner.

The ride back was quiet, the large vehicle bouncing over the harsh terrain. Tired, Kit checked on Mordin, who was sitting near the back, looking out the window and away from them. Sure that she was covered, she sighed and leaned against Garrus, his warmth seeping through his armour and comforting her.

He placed a hand on her knee, large and warm, and shifted his shoulder so her head wasn't at such an uncomfortable angle. Smiling, she turned into him and rested.

* * *

"So you're not banging the turian?" Jack asked, picking at her boot with a knife. Kit sat cross-legged on the table, poking at her food. The fork stopped half-way to her mouth and she stared at the other woman.

"No," she said after a moment, shovelling the synthesized food into her mouth. Jack shrugged, examining the tip of the knife before fiddling with her boot again.

"Fine, just figured something was going on," she said, bending closer. Kit frowned, chewing the rubbery food and wondering why the hell she bothered to get ingredients when the shit always tasted the same. Except that Gardner was still punishing them for the little food fight Kit had convinced Garrus to participate in that resulted in a burner breaking and having to scramble to find the irate multi-tasking cook a new one.

"Why?" she asked, looking back down at her plate.

Jack looked up at her, one brow cocked. "Because you act like you're fucking each other," she replied, smirking. Kit rolled her eyes. "How?"

The other woman tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. "You have no fucking clue," she finally stated, sitting back.

Kit scowled and shook her head. "About what?" It had been three weeks since her breakdown and they'd just convinced Tali to join back up with them. She hadn't noticed anything since then, or before then and so stared at Jack as the other woman laughed at her.

"Holy fuck. Wow, have you ever fucked?" Jack asked, looking at her with a smirk. Kit rolled her eyes, trying not to remember the last time she had. "Yes, and not in a while," she quickly said, cutting off the rude remarks. "Been kind of busy trying not to die, in case you haven't noticed."

"Shit job of it," Jack shot back, but she was grinning. Kit shook her head, gathering her cold plate. "Seriously, what's that about Garrus?"

"You want girl talk, grab the cheerleader or the new hottie with the mask. They both seem like they'd love to sync their cycles with you." Kit raised her eyebrows at Jack's description and the other woman mirrored the move. "Hot body. I can appreciate that," she grinned, turning back to her boot and picking at it again.

Kit sighed and shrugged, walking up the steps.

* * *

"You seem close," Tali offered, tilting her masked face toward Kit's leaning form.

"Yeah, but not that close, right?" Kit picked at the overalls she wore around the ship, fiddling with the strap. Gabby and Ken were both up in the mess and Kit felt comfortable enough around the quarian to be casual.

"Well…" Tali said, her accented voice trailing off. "If you are not sleeping together, why does he spend so much time in your quarters?"

Kit pursed her lips, thinking about her sometimes drunken ramblings and disgusting repercussions. "Just, company," she said instead, thinking about the long hours of poker and trying to figure out missions.

Tali nodded. "And you can't do that with anyone else?" Kit frowned, craning her neck and inspecting her shoes. "Well, yeah. You," she said, looking up.

"I've been here three days and I've never been up there," Tali pointed out, no reprimand in her voice. Kit nodded slowly, biting her lip. "Well, wanna come up?"

Tali laughed, her tone musical and deep. "When you ask like that, I'd be afraid to intrude." Kit rolled her eyes and smiled at her. "You know what I mean. Fuck," she muttered, kicking at the grated floor.

"You were close on the first Normandy, too; I think everyone was surprised when you and Kaiden got together."

Kit frowned. "Really? Seemed kind of natural, him being hot and all."

Tali chuckled and nodded. "For a human, maybe, but he was very thin," she said, tapping at the console.

"Really? You go for more of the buff, Kal Reegar types, then?" The quarian chuckled again and shook her head. "Go away," she said, "I have to figure out this hiccough between the C6 and L6. It's burning the resistor and the char is building up."

Kit mock saluted and pushed away, heading for the door.

"If you're going to see Garrus, think about why," Tali called as the door closed.

* * *

She watched him carefully as he stood by the transport car. "Not now," he snarled, waving her away when she tried to talk to him. Kit sighed and shook her head, moving quickly around him and blocking his exit.

"No, now is good. Listen, I know you don't agree, but killing him would have done nothing."

"I would have avenged them," he snarled, hands curling, his talons twitching. Kit nodded, glad it was just the two of them for the mission. "Yes, yes you would have, but you saw him; you would have also been doing him a favour."

Garrus growled at her, his mandibles held tight against his mouth as he began to pace again, his usual calm demeanour shattered. Kit sighed and rubbed the bridge her nose, grimacing. "Stay angry at me, but think about it, please."

He stared at her hard for a long time before nodding, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm going to take some time," he said tightly and Kit nodded.

"We'll dock for another twelve hours," she offered, reaching out to comfort him but he'd already turned away. She looked after him, then down to her hand before curling it up and radioing Joker.

He came up to her quarters the next day, dark civilians firmly in place and a bottle of wine gripped in his hand. Kit smiled at him and started to shuffle the cards.

* * *

Kit listened to him speak, the deep treble of his voice running over her.

"When I married Irikah, the Hanar let me leave their service to raise a family."

She listened to his confession, reaching out and placing a hand over his own. She knew what it was like to lose your family, probably why she got along so well with most everyone on the ship. It was like the Hundred Acre Wood, but in space; a mish-mash of psychological traumas instead of disorders.

"That doesn't sound healthy," she commented, her voice sympathetic. Thane looked down at her hand, nodding, then back up and continued.

"If Nassana's guards had caught me afterwards, it would have been a good death. But someone else was pushing me to reach the target. Forcing me to move faster. Challenging me. I had to reach her first."

Kit couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. "So, I was wounding your pride? That's why you're alive?"

Thane seemed to pull back, almost as if insulted, his features always the same, perfectly symmetrical and smooth. "Pride is the line between a professional and a thug." He relaxed again. "But I met another shia. Few are privileged to meet even one." There was a hint of a smile in his voice and he leaned forward. His features were more relaxed and open.

"And again with the siha." Kit tilted her head, smiling at him. Something seemed off, though, somewhere deep in her mind something was happening but she couldn't tell exactly what it was. "Still haven't told me what that means."

"One of the warrior angels of the Goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector." His features came alive when he spoke to her, his deep voice smoothing over her. Kit raised her eyebrows but unease was starting to crawl up her spine. "I confess," he continued, looking down at her hand still over his, "I have come to care for you. Perhaps I'm being foolish; we are very different."

Kit froze. She could deal with shooting and pain and drinking and even the occasional "oops, we just had sex and now it's awkward", but she never knew what to do in this situation. She had never told Kaiden she'd loved him, even though she was sure she must have felt it; had never, in fact, told anyone except an embarrassing fling on the Citadel.

"Um, I'm sorry," she began, shaking her head and pulling her hand away. "I didn't mean anything like that." She winced when he sat back and folded his hands in front of him. "My apologies," he said, his voice flatter, "I did not mean to discomfort you." She sat there a moment longer, unsure what to do, before getting up. She paused by his seated form and wanted to place a hand on his shoulder, but instead walked away. Leaving Life Support she headed to the elevator, sending Garrus a message.

Five minutes later she was getting delightfully wasted while they argued pros and cons of manual versus automatic sighting.

* * *

Kit sat in her quarters, sprawled over the couch and Garrus, cards fanned out in her hand.

"Not that you'll change your mind or anything, but it's a bad idea," Garrus commented, laying down a pair of threes in his large pile.

"Do you have any fours, and no, it won't change." The turian nodded, sitting up and handing over a large card. Kit grinned and put the pair into her small pile, scowling at the measly ant hill compared to his growing Everest. Garrus caught it and sat back with a smug grin. "You dealt this time," he pointed out, waving his three cards at her.

She stared at her own hand of eight cards and wondered how the hell she didn't have any pairs. "Waking up the geth is a good start to getting ahead of the collectors," she said, passing over an eight when he asked. "Besides, I'm curious about my armour."

"You've thought about their hive mind, right? One geth, all geth sort of thing? And it probably just needed to patch a hole."

Kit waved away his fears with a rude noise, reaching for her iced cocktail. "Seriously, if EDI detects anything in her system, we'll send the tin can bastard out of the air lock and oh, holy hell I love Kasumi," she declared, licking her lips and tipping her head back to drink more.

She felt Garrus shift, her legs sliding off his lap and his large talons wrapped around the glass, pulling it away.

Kit groaned and tried to finish the last of the bright blue drink, her struggles succeeding in spilling a vast majority of the remaining cocktail down her cheeks and soaking her shirt. He growled and pulled harder, shifting his grip so he didn't cut into her fingers.

He finally succeeded, her fingers squeaking against the moist glass as they tried to grip it. She leaned forward, dropping her cards and balancing herself on his cowl. He grumbled, setting it on his side of the couch and grabbing her.

"Seriously, sobriety," he growled. Kit rolled her eyes. "Barely buzzed," she shot back, glaring at him. "Besides, I'm always good the next day."

"Spirits know how," Garrus replied, mandibles flaring crookedly. Kit suddenly realized how close she was when his right mandible brushed her cheek and she leaned over a little, just a shift to the right that took her in front of him. He stared at her, mandibles tight again and she leaned forward.

Swallowing, she stared up into his eyes, adjusting around his cowl and raising a hand to trace over his heads up display. She looked up over his forehead as she felt the rough skin above his eye and over his brow.

"Shepard?"

Kit stopped, his voice deeper and she swallowed, the familiar comforting heat that usually followed much more inappropriate. Snatching her hand back, she sat back too quickly and nearly fell off the couch. Garrus caught her arm, holding her up warily.

"Uh, yeah," she said, curling her fingers into her palm before she could reach out and grasp his arm. "Sorry, drunk daze," she offered cheerily, her voice fake and forced even to her.

Garrus dropped her arm and stared at her for a long while before nodding and standing up. Taking the glass, he set it on the table with a small clink and walked away. He hesitated at the steps and Kit watched him, her own mouth opening, but in the end neither did anything.

Kit watched him walk away, heard the door hiss closed and stared at the glass. Shaking her head, suddenly very sober and tired, she pulled the stained shirt off. She walked over to the bed and collapsed, going over her thoughts and wondering if she could blame the alcohol.

* * *

Kit waved to Kelly, who cheerily waved back, her large smile beaming. Kit shook her head and beamed back, the yauman's cheer contagious. She was making her rounds and so far had a happy and stable-ish crew. Which, considering what she was working with, was a good thing.

The door to the science lab slid open and she stepped inside, Mordin bent over his microscopes and muttering. "All good, doc?" she asked, just stepping into the room so as not to disturb him.

"Ah, Shepard. Yes, wish to talk, have time?" Kit nodded, walking over to his table and leaning against it.

"Aware mission is dangerous; different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal stress relief for humans and turians; still recommend caution. Warn of…chafing."

Kit stared at him, her mouth hanging open slightly. "Seriously, why does everyone think we're having sex?"

"Did not say you were, cautioning against future…reactions," Mordin replied, moving away from her. "Turians based on dextro amino acids, human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reaction. Fatal anaphylactic shock possible." He tapped his omni-tool and it flared to life. "Also forwarding advice booklet to your quarters; valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zones."

Kit laughed, covering it up quickly when he looked at her. "You're joking, right?"

Mordin gasped, taking a theatrical step back and narrowing his eyes. "Shocking suggestion. Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust; would never dream of mockery."

Kit narrowed her eyes and smirked. "Uh-huh. I've heard you sing, doctor, I know the bug bit you once, it could happen again."

"No bugs, would contaminate tests," he said, his manner still offended. Kit laughed and walked out with a small wave.

* * *

"Shepard."

Kit peered into the dim room, the stars moving past them infinite and beautiful. "Busy?" she asked the lightly glowing asari in the middle of the room.

"If you wish to speak, I have time."

Kit nodded. "Okay, just wondered if you needed anything." Samara shook her head, the glow still strong around her. "I need little else but my meditations. Thank you, Shepard."

Kit nodded and turned to leave, but stopped and pivoted back toward the asari. "Do you think Garrus and I are sleeping together?"

The blue glow receded and Samara relaxed before she stood up, fluidly unfolding herself. "Why do you ask me?" she asked, turning to her.

Kit shrugged, uncomfortable and suddenly feeling very young beside the ageless Justicar. "Everyone else seems to think so, and I wondered if you did and why." She felt stupid for asking, like a little girl with a crush, but the question was out there.

Samara cocked her head and studied her, limitless years disciplining a stillness Kit could never feel. Finally, Samara turned away and walked to the large viewing window. Kit followed, pressing her hands against the cool glass and imagining the space around her again. She pulled away, swallowing and turning to the asari who was studying her again.

"Are you asking if I think you are or if I think you should?"

Kit frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, staring out at the large open space. "Maybe both," she finally admitted, rubbing her arms.

Samara hummed. "Perhaps the better question: Do you think you should?"

Kit stared at the stars before turning to the Justicar, watching as she moved back to the centre of the room and once again folded herself down to the floor, her biotics glowing about her.

Kit left the room a few hours later and walked toward the elevator, stopping at the entrance to the mess and staring at the door to the main battery before shaking her head and changing course. She still needed to talk to him about Legion, she told herself.

* * *

"If you had been here, shit could have been a lot worse," Garrus argued, watching her pace the cabin.

Kit growled and shook her head. "No, I could have stopped them."

"Or you could have been taken, as well. Joker and EDI said it was an overwhelming force; any more fighting could have caused more damage to the integrity of ship and we all could have died."

Kit sat on the bed and gripped her hair, moaning. "Fucking hell, Garrus. Fuck, I'm the Commander, I keep everyone safe so I don't have to run off and save them."

Garrus knelt in front of her, his long legs folding awkwardly and he grabbed her arms, pulling them away from her face. "And now you're going to do exactly that. We're going to save them and keep them safe."

Kit sighed and nodded, resting her hands on his shoulders, staring up at him. Her conversation with Samara came back to her and she swallowed, looking into his blue eyes and needing him.

"I don't fail, Garrus. I did once, and it sucked. I don't want to again."

Garrus shook his head, holding her but always keeping a distance. "You didn't fail, Shepard. And you won't, now."

Kit needed to believe him and couldn't say anything else, her fear out there with nothing else to be said. But she had so much more she needed him to know, so she leaned forward, carefully and watching him. Swallowing, she pressed her forehead to his own, watching his mandibles twitch and eyes dart over her face.

They sat like that, staring at each other as the empty fish tank hummed in the background and the seconds ticked by. Finally, she felt his hands move up and over her shoulders, sharp talons gently skimming over her clothing. A huff of laughter escaped her when he pressed her gently forward, tilting her face until his mouth was pressing to her lips.

She felt his warmth through the civvies he always wore in her cabin, her hands gripping his cowl and feeling around the large bone. She broke the odd kiss and looked down at his clothes.

"Um, where…?"

He chuckled a little breathlessly and moved back, quickly undoing his clothes, the latches hidden in the material. She'd seen him shirtless before, their friendship developing into a comfortable closeness that made modesty kind of redundant. Then, she'd looked over him and blamed the heat on a sexless life since her resurrection. Now, she looked over him and bit her lip, admitting that the heat was completely caused by him.

His strong body was so different, but seeing it so often she didn't realize just how different. Suddenly shy, she reminded herself he must know something about humans, knowing about kissing. Undoing her overalls, she let the material fall away and stripped her t-shirt and bra off, her hands falling to her side and sitting there nervously.

They sat there and stared at each other, his warm hands sitting on her thighs, hers twitching at her side. Finally, he raised his up and cupped her face, pushing his hands through her hair, now long enough to skim her shoulders.

She bit her lip and began to explore his face, tracing over the bandage on his right side, the fingers of her left pressing against his head piece. Tilting her head, she brought both hands up and pulled it off, smiling when he tilted his head to help her.

His hands were now pressing against her nose and lips, the hot skin and cool talons sliding against her flesh. She shivered, the danger so obvious in his body bringing a tingle of pleasure.

She wanted to talk but it didn't feel right, their entire relationship based on a camaraderie that seemed too casual to bring into the moment. She felt over his face, tugging at the ends of his mandibles and smiling at his groan. She leaned forward, feeling along his fringe and revelling in the throaty growl she got from him.

He leaned into her, pressing his forehead to hers and she could finally appreciate him without the constant heads up display, his blue eyes intense and near heart breaking. His eyes were bright, something shifting in them as he stared at her and she knew she wanted to understand what it was.

His hands moved down her neck, his breath ghosting over her lips and cheeks. Kit closed her eyes, her chest moving fast as he finally reached her breasts, his large hands hesitating.

"If this happens, we go all the way," he rumbled and Kit opened her eyes, looking at him. He was serious, watching her and she had no clue why. "We weren't going to?" she asked, her hands settling on his neck, rubbing the skin.

He stared at her, his eyes searching and Kit felt her breath catch, the situation heavy and beyond her. His gaze shifted again, still bright intense but not as bright, a part of him closing off. He started to pull away, his warms hands leaving her and Kit felt like crying. He held her gaze a moment longer before looking down and reaching for his shirt. "What?" she asked, trying to hold onto him, fingernails gripping his skin. He shook his head.

"I can't tell you," he rumbled, pulling the shirt on. Kit swallowed and let him go when the cloth settled over her hands and she sat back, cold and confused. She scratched her head and looked at the bed sheets. She had missed something important, she knew, and it killed her. She hoped he didn't leave.

He stood up and sat beside her, breathing out hard. Wrapping a hand around her shoulder, he pulled her against him and sat there. She leaned into him, wondering what had just happened.

* * *

He was sliding away, literally. Kit ran after him, slipping down the broken piece of platform with him and just grasped his hand, her shoulder jerking painfully when she reached the edge, his larger bulk dangling over the abyss.

"Fuck, come on!" she yelled, trying to pull him up. He was larger than her, his muscles heavier and denser and she figured she'd probably have a hard time trying to pull up his armour alone. She looked into his blue eyes, remembering the previous night and shouting in anger.

A large, muscled hand reached down and grasped Garrus' wrist, just below Kit's grip. Together, she and Zaeed pulled the large turian up and they settled on the platform, breathing hard. Placing a hand on the man's shoulder, she shook it gratefully and he waved her away. She stood up shakily and was about to order them to move out when she saw a large piece of debris fly right for them. Befor she could shout, they were out.

Kit groaned and sat up, rubbing her head. Looking around, she saw Zaeed lying on his side. Rushing over, she helped the older merc up before searching for Garrus. Her breath caught, seeing his large form covered by an even large piece of metal. Running forward, she pulled it up, grunting when she pushed it away.

Helping him up, she stared at him for a moment, watching as he got his bearing. His hand was solid in her and she wanted to squeeze it and never let go, terrified he would run off and get killed. Letting go, she turned to check on Zaeed, Joker's panicked voice filling her ear.

The swarm starting to gather, she ordered the other two in front of her and ran after them.

She skidded around a corner, slipping on a damp patch, her gun shooting way off target. Garrus quickly took out three and Zaeed two more before Kit righted herself and they continued running. She glanced beside her at the large turian, his focus completely down the line of his gun.

She saw the ship and felt her body sag slightly, relief washing over her. "Just a little more," she yelled, for herself and the two others. Shooting behind her, she dropped back, covering Garrus and Zaeed as they jumped. Turning, her eyes widened when she saw the platform crumble, large pieces of debris crashing around the ship.

"Ten seconds, Shepard," EDI warned in her ear, her cool voice grating. "Right here, EDI," she yelled, pumping her legs. She felt the bullets zing around her, her shield taking a harsh battering. She considered, for a brief moment, that she was going to die, that she wasn't going to make the large gap to the ship.

Grunting, she pushed off, suddenly weightless as she jumped away from the world and reached for the ship. She stared at him, desperate as she began to fall too soon, her body fatigued and armour heavy. But he was there, as always, and grabbed her arm, his strength enough to pull her up on his own where hers hadn't been.

* * *

"Don't turn your back on me, Shepard!"

Kit stared at the Illusive Man and shook her head. "Joker, lose this channel." She stared at him a moment longer before turning away and walking out of the holo. Garrus stood there, his arms crossed over his armoured chest.

"It's gonna be expensive," he commented, watching her.

"Garrus, shut up," Kit sighed, leaning against the broken table and staring at him. She had nearly lost him, twice, and staring at his nonchalance, at the way he leaned so perfectly, his head piece gone and she suddenly felt angry.

"I could have lost you," she stated, narrowing her eyes. He nodded. "You could have lost everybody, but we've pulled through, as always, Commander."

Kit watched him as he pushed away from the broken doorway, stepping over a metal girder. "So, 'Commander'," she said, nodding. "That's it?"

He stopped in front of her and tilted his head, eyes darting over her figure. "Is it anything else?" he asked. Kit glared at him before looking away, her chest squeezing painfully. "Used to be Shepard, was almost…Why did you stop?"

He sighed and turned away from her slightly, arms crossed over his chest again. Kit ran a hand through her dirty hair. "Do you need me to tell you I love you?" she asked, the three simple words for some reason unbelievably embarrassing to say. "Because I thought that was sort of obvious."

"Was it to you?"

Kit looked at him, brown eyes narrowed. Finally she huffed out a laugh and looked down, shifting her stance. "Honestly, not until you nearly died." She looked up at him again and the desperation washed over her again, the fear and the need and she found herself in his arms, her legs wound around his slim waist.

She pressed her lips to his mouth, his long, cylindrical tongue licking inside her lips and over her teeth. It wasn't a secure place; the door was broken off and anyone could walk in but she didn't care.

Their hands, unsure around clothing were confident with armour, pressing against the notches and locks holding the scorched and dirty armour up. He dropped the heavy chest plate, both pieces clanging against the ground, his gauntlets pulled off and thrown to the side.

She gasped when her own armour was pulled away, her under armour zipped down and she finally felt the large hands, covered in gloves, squeezing her breasts. Moaning, she leaned into him, grasping his fringe and squeezing. He groaned, his breath hot over her face and he tilted his head down, nipping at her jawline.

She tugged at his own undershirt, easily pulling the tight tank top off and scraping down the skin of his neck, grasping his cowl and pulling herself closer to his body. His hands slid down and she helped him pull her greaves off, one large hand lifting her as the other supported their weight, both her hands pulling at her armour. He stepped back and they both unlatched his lower armour, his cock hard and straining against the cloth of his under weave.

Kit moaned and pushed her under armour and underwear off, wriggling against the cool glass. He pushed his own down to his knees, pulling her forward and into him.

She gasped and bit the plate on his chest, one hand scraping down her arm and the other gripping his waist. Breathing hard, he tilted her face up, pressing their foreheads together.

"Look at me," he demanded, his blue eyes intense and Kit stared at him, desperate. She could recognize it, seeing it so many times but never recognizing the intense and soft regard he always seemed to have for her and wondered if others had noticed. Probably, she thought considering her conversations.

"I love you," she gasped, smiling when his mandibles flared. Her eyelids fluttered when the head of his cock pushed against her entrance, sliding against her.

"I love you," he moaned back, grasping her hips and pushing in. Kit gasped, her hand coming up to his shoulder and grasping his cowl. She could feel his talons through his gloves, the material protecting her flesh and dulling the sensation. Moaning as he pulled out slightly, he held her tighter and pushed back in, more of him spreading her.

She tried to keep her eyes open, wanted to watch him but when he hilted, his warm body finally flush against hers, she groaned and threw her head back. Her foot hooked around her ankle, knees resting on his jutting hip bones and she leaned back, supporting herself on him.

His hands came up, gloves rough against her skin and she arched her back. He grasped her shoulders, supporting her as he began to thrust, slow and deep. Kit gripped him and moaned with each thrust, regaining her breath and opening her eyes. He pulled her up and she watched him as he moved within her, hot and long and slightly ridged, pulsing.

His eyes were so intense, bright in his face and Kit whined when he shifted the angle, pushing against her perfectly. The tight ball of heat began to wind in her stomach, her fingers and toes tingling and limbs getting heavy with the promise of orgasm. She felt his hands leave her shoulders, reaching up and tangling in her dark hair. Pulling her forward, he began to thrust harder and faster. She gasped, tightening her legs around him, her hands gripping just underneath his fringe. He growled, such an animalistic, unexpected and sorely erotic sound.

Moving her hands up, she grasped the spikes of his fringe and groaned when his thrusts became more erratic, harder and deeper. She pressed her forehead to his own, staring into his eyes as her breath came harder, her nipples chafing against his natural armour, his claws scraping her scalp occasionally, even through the gloves.

"Say it," he growled, staring at her, his blue eyes intense. Kit swallowed and tightened her grip, feeling his hips hitch.

"I love you," and then she was coming, her eyes opened wide, breath gasping out of her as she felt him thrust faster. She could feel him get harder, feel the ridges pulse and expand as he prepared for his own orgasm.

"Spirits, I love you, Kit," he gasped, pressing her painfully against him as he finally emptied into her with a gasp, his warmth filling her with each thrust.

He stood there as she shook in his arms, coming down from her orgasm. He was breathing hard, his mandibles twitching as his hands flexed in her hair, running through the dark strands.

"Wow," she gasped, dropping her head to his shoulder and laughing. Garrus rumbled, his softening cock retreating out of her. She shifted, feeling their come spread out and over the glass, sticking underneath her butt.

She pulled away, looking up at him and smiling. "So, all the way," she said, grinning. He nodded, lowering his hands and tracing the clothed talons over her back and hips, squeezing them one last time before stepping back.

He leaned down and picked up her under armour, Kit taking it gratefully. They dressed silently and she cleaned up the mess as best she could with her underwear. With the chaos the ship was in, it was bound to get properly cleaned up later. She balled the material up and cupped it between her gauntlets.

Brushing her fingers through her hair, she shook it out and checked on Garrus. He stood in front of her, head cocked and mandibles flared. "Never got 'Kit'. It seems like such an odd name, even for humans." He started to walk out of the destroyed comm. room, turning to help her over the fallen girders.

She grimaced, following him out. "It's short for Kitalyn," she replied, glaring at him when he snorted. "What?" she demanded. He shook his head. "I don't know, it just seems too girly for you."

Kit smiled and nodded. "Agreed, thus, Kit," she said with a small tilt of her head, spreading her arms and gesturing toward herself. Garrus grinned and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers and she breathed, smiling at him.

"Understand need for stress release; both hormonally driven creatures. Next time fornicating in public, permission to collect data?" Kit blinked and turned to Mordin who stood in the open doorway to the science lab, head cocked inquisitively.

Garrus grumbled and shook his head.

* * *

And that's it. Hope you like! As always, R&R superbly appreciated!


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